He told me he loved me so much that he'd set me free. That he couldn't touch my body the way I wanted. That his heart couldn't touch my heart the way it needed. He said his love for me was so true that he'd let me go.
Go. He said. Be free. I'm holding you back.
From what?
From your dreams.
Bullshit, I told him.
This is what it really is: You're too scared to touch me that deep. Too scared to open your heart so it digs into mine and imprints within the echo chamber and sounds throughout my body forever. You're a wimp. This is your easy way out of Love. Easy way out of working at us.
You aren't mine, he said. I can feel the walls between us. Become who you need to be...without me. I'll never be good enough for you.
Bullshit. You are everything you are, and I love you just that way. I'm not yours, but we are ours. Our stars align like mirror images and my heart beats on your off-beat. You figure out how to smash those walls your own fear built. You just need to let go. Not let me go.
But I walked out anyway because what's a girl to do?
I got some paint. I painted the city that night. Tagged it with flowers. There. I found myself because I was never lost. Sometimes love needs a moment or two to settle into itself. I could have done anything under that full moon, but I painted beauty and thought of him and his shoulders. His smile. His potential.
And because I am the woman I am, I will wait. I'll wait forever until he gets it.
I went back home when the sun was rising, covered in paint, and climbed into bed and marked his body with graffiti that said Mine. All Mine.
Go. He said. Be free. I'm holding you back.
From what?
From your dreams.
Bullshit, I told him.
This is what it really is: You're too scared to touch me that deep. Too scared to open your heart so it digs into mine and imprints within the echo chamber and sounds throughout my body forever. You're a wimp. This is your easy way out of Love. Easy way out of working at us.
You aren't mine, he said. I can feel the walls between us. Become who you need to be...without me. I'll never be good enough for you.
Bullshit. You are everything you are, and I love you just that way. I'm not yours, but we are ours. Our stars align like mirror images and my heart beats on your off-beat. You figure out how to smash those walls your own fear built. You just need to let go. Not let me go.
But I walked out anyway because what's a girl to do?
I got some paint. I painted the city that night. Tagged it with flowers. There. I found myself because I was never lost. Sometimes love needs a moment or two to settle into itself. I could have done anything under that full moon, but I painted beauty and thought of him and his shoulders. His smile. His potential.
And because I am the woman I am, I will wait. I'll wait forever until he gets it.
I went back home when the sun was rising, covered in paint, and climbed into bed and marked his body with graffiti that said Mine. All Mine.
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